Thursday 24 February 2011

Yet another hour I will never see again...

In complete sleep-mode.
I was rooting for this tutor. He looks cool, seems cool, seems nice, the subject seemed alright.
Dont judge the dog by the hair (literally)
For gods sake, pep it up for 5 minutes!
I dont want to be here any more than you do, but lets pretend shall we?

Tonight the family arrives at Gatwick. Again.
"But, they were here like 2 minutes ago"
Well, yes. Yes, they were. Again, its more about London then it is about seeing the oldest daughter.
That I hardly will have time to see them is another story.
They will see me dressed for success tomorrow while enjoying a greasy, heavenly feast at foundation tomorrow night.
Jealous does not cover it. Will totally swing by their table more then once and stuff myself with mac n cheese.

"okey thats it, see you in 2 weeks!"
oh, he does not have to say that twice.

Toodles...

Wednesday 23 February 2011

Mockery allowed...

Ladies and Germs, thats what workin night does to ya. Cripes. 
This swedish broad knows how to work the unshowered look. I heard its in again. 
(Seriously, who wouldnt wanna tap that?)


Shower, do something about that hair and off to uni. (keep the expectations low)
Actually a tiny bit excited to go to uni today. Not struggling to get myself out of the door at least.
Yes, I am as shocked as you are.
Miracles do happen...

Tuesday 22 February 2011

And here we go again...

Why did I go back to school?
Was that really necessary? I mean, really?
I have SO lost my momentum. It was there. I remember it being there. 
But now, as expected, it has moved on to other things.


Will Amina ever find something she wont get tired of doing for a longer amount of time?
No. Never. Never ever.
(the mothers biggest argument against me getting my first tatoo 4 years ago...maybe thats also why she never let me get a dog as a kid....)
There is NOTHING I do I do not get sick of doin. I get bored. Thats just who I am.

I get excited, I get overwhelmed, I let everybody know how excited I am, I get bored, I complain, I move on.

Woke up with a smile, thinking "ooooh, Im going to work today!" and then it hit me "urgh, before I go to work im going to....uni....."
Shouldnt it be the other way around?
In a normal persons mind, yes.

The meter is ticking, crap or get off the pot.

Yes, its 12,03Am and I should be in school.
I am not.
Sue me.

Monday 21 February 2011

And thats how its done....


Its not healthy to be this proud of yourself. Seriously. Its disgusting. 

Sunday 20 February 2011

life of a hooter girl

- Hi how are you? What can I....?
- Im sorry, what?
- No, I just asked how you are tonight...?
- What?
- ?
-Im sorry, I cant hear a word you are saying your outfit is too distracting!
-Distracting in a good way?
- Nope


On my way home I also got asked "what I could do for 2,50?"
Note to self: do not walk home in your work clothes.
I wouldnt normally (learned that lesson couple of days ago), but yesterday I was in a hurry.

Friday 18 February 2011

Will I ever change? nope.

No uni today, only work. At 4.
Oh goodness, whatever am I going to do with all my free time?
I had plans. Lots of plans! (such an overstatement)
I was going to do that, buy that, meet up with that....
Nope, didnt happen.
Suddenly its 2.30 and I realise I havent done shit.
I havent gotten dressed.
I havent eaten (not necessarily a bad thing. Jiggly ass is happy)
and I smell like ass...
Score!

Easy fixed....Except for the fact that I just spilled yoghurt all over my clothes.
How old am I?
Seriously...
the passport says 22, the insides says 43, the mind says 11

gimme some veg sausage

Just found the answer to all my prayers.
Canned baked beans with vegetarian sausages.
YES!
Student-food heaven, gastronomic exlosion!
In all excitement I threw the can away, but next time, oh next time I will take a picture!
Promise.
This is a Morrison secret that needs to be shared!

Im pretty sure that can contains all nutrions I need.

Wednesday 16 February 2011

Temper tantrums....

Yesterday I was bitch-ness central, a walking bomb, temper tantrum to happen at any moment. (Again, why do I not have a boyfriend?)
Just not my day.
So were my dear estonian. Just not her day.
I get stubborn when im cranky, so does she.
With a quiet and "embarrassed to death" Maria in the middle we ended up getting into a very loud and agressive argument in one of our seminars.
About what?
Keeping up with the Kardashians.
One of my proudest moments. Ever.
I am, as known, pro celeb reality shows. 
She on the other hand, is against. 
Yes, it was a lovely moment.
Defending Kim Kardashian is what I do best.


A much needed nap and to-much-for-my-own-good-diet coke (and an appology) later, I was back to my charming self again, ready to go to work.

Sat exhausted in my work outfit on the nightbus home.
Facial expression: high as a kite. SO ready for my bed.
I did NOT smell like rasberries, my legs had grease stains from carrying trays with food and my hair had been rained on and had seen better days.
Result:
I got whissled at twice, got 3 winks, got 1 air-pussy-lick and I got honked at twice.
Seriously?
The last honk got a load and clear "bite me!" in return.


Another eventful day in London.

Monday 14 February 2011

This is England

Woke up too early for my own good.
I blame the friggin sun that was, behold yourselves, shining.
I moved to England for a reason, this is not it.



I am celebrating spring by showing some skin.
Ive heard thats a winning concept.

and yes, I emptied that window frame from crap before taking that picture. 
Dont let me fool you. 

WHO came up with "valentines day"? I want names!

So, bartender debut on saturday. Started of looking like a lost puppy dog (which was SO the plan, who is goin to scream at a puppy dog. No one), scared shitless.
Put a smile on it and shake that mother!
The night ended with me pouring (literally. My hair was dripping.) whiskey all over me and Bella that happened to stand behind me.
(Not like I smelled like raspberries before that happened.)
- Your armpit smells like my ass!
It did.
And then, because of lack of food and complete exhaustion the night ended with me getting tipsy (understatement) on 1,5 bottle of stella and falling alseep hard on the nightbus home.
Score.

Today I am actually going to uni. Imagine that.
Instead of sitting in a booth all day, I will sit in classrooms and learn bout what some people call "real things".

and also, FUCK VALENTINES!
I mean it.
If I ever would, this is the day I would jump of a bridge.

Friday 11 February 2011

Productive days...

Yesterday I spend my day pouring water into glasses. 
All day.
The easy earned money was easy spent on Westfields later on.
Today I will carry boxes. All day.
Ah, you gotta love productive days like these in London-town.
Why would I EVER go back to sweden?
My point exactly. 

I swear to buddha you can see my cellulites in these friggin shorts I have to wear.
This is the closest I will ever get being a Hooter girl. 
I wish I was latina. Juicy booties is part of the package, a must. Like roof on a house, such a ripoff if its not there.
I am not latina.
Im just a white ass with a love for cheese. 

Tuesday 8 February 2011

72 hours

- Slash, stop hanging out with fergie. Seriously, stop. Super bowl...not one of your proudest moments, now is it? Didnt think so.

- Took the nightbus home from old street on saturday(-ish). Normally no biggie. On saturday however, it slipped my mind that I had moved. You do not live in Seven sisters anymore. Idiot.
Wandering the streets of north london to find my way home at night, with a tequila or two too many in me. Safe, yes.

- Sundaynight was spent at the emergency with my dear norwegian. She felt like crap. I had a pretty good time. It was interesting. Also, she couldnt say much, her feelin like crap and everything, which meant I could talk for hours without being interupted. Such a nice feeling.

- Is spending a fortune at starbucks.
I blame it all on my clumsiness and the fact that I havent yet bought a new coffee maker. (before I actually got to starbucks yesterday I downed 2l diet coke. It did not have the same effect.)

- The latest obsession is Keeping up with the kardashians (good morning, I know). Feel so skinny after a couple of episodes straight. And bright. Kourtney annoys the shiz out of me. I really do not like her.

- Sat next to Peaches Geldfof on the tube the other day. That is one glamorous and terrified lookin lady. What she was going to do in Wood Green I will never know. Im guessing she was getting a kebab. I dont blame her.

- Heard people talk about the sun shining over London today. I know nothing about this. I did not see it.

- Was certain the cleaning lady had stolen my salt. (had to eat my "dinner" without salt. I do NOT do that) She hadnt. For some reason, I had placed it in my window.
Dont ask.

Monday 7 February 2011

Oh they have to try harder than that to stop me...

I just smashed my coffee maker.
Christ of all shitting mighty!

I refuse to see it as a sign.

2 days before the smashing took place. 
That shows the level of importance it had in my life, me photo-booting it and everything. 
We had a good 4-5 months. 


Sunday 6 February 2011

fastfood central in my ass

Mc donalds stops serving normal (normal as in "give me FAAAAT") food at one point (didnt think it was possible, but it is.) and starts serving breakfast. ONLY!
What the fuck!?
No, I do not care for a bagel.
I want something deep fried with cheese on top!
Is that reeeeeally that difficult?
NO, it shouldnt be!

AND all wood green kebab shops closed like an hour ago.
I thought Wood green was junk food central 24/7.
Such a ripoff.
Thank god (im serious, bagel doesnt do it when you get home at 5am. I would have died. True story.) for Linda Mccartney frozen lasagna, that happened to be on sale 2 days ago, when i happened to go shopin. aaah! ( or we´ll see, its still in the micro oven. But im confident its fatty and heavenly delicious.)

More fat to the people!

That was all.

Saturday 5 February 2011

Saturday....

Friday was spent making cocktails, winetasting and menu tasting.
I dont know but that is what I call a rather good friday. ( Friday in hell to some, but who diets on fridays, really? Wouldnt say I EVER diet, but especial not on fridays. come on.)

Saturday will be spent free pouring and makin more cocktails.
No, I do not free pour. Not even close. And I have a memory like a goldfish.
Which will mean I will most likely spend my day swearing like a fisherman on leave.
Amina tends to get upset when it dawns on her she is not perfect. Such a shocker everytime.
Thats also why I do not dance.


Tonight, hopefully, I will drink and shake my sorrows away. Preferably with Abercombie door boys. But hey, Im not picky.

Happy saturday!

Thursday 3 February 2011

Tube-germs IS what im looking for in a good brushing session

It happened again.
Me leaving the house and entering the world with a toothbrush sticking up my coat pocket.
First sign of true idiocy.
That makes it twice in one week. Once at work, once at Uni.

Both times, strangers has pointed this out to me:
-Ey, you have a toothbrush in your pocket.
Well yes, yes I do. Thank you for noticing. 

I am stressed in the mornings.
The somewhat pretty head connected to the body has not woken up yet.
I realize in the last minute (always with the coat on and ready to hit the tube) that I haven't yet brushed my teeth (mind you, I never forget, I just remember it later than most).
I go brush my teeth, remembers something else I havent done and puts the bloody thing in my pocket.
And woop, I forget its there.

Common sense made me buy a new one after the first incident.
Its been 2 days.

I guess im going shopping.